How it Started vs How it went
How it Started vs how it went. In 2017 I went to Burning Man by way of a friend who gifted me a ticket and told me I was going. No other reason would have convinced me to go to this place if I hadn't fully trust this friend. I go.. It was overwhelming. It was a lot. I didnt have the words to explain how I felt. And at the same time I couldn't even figure out how I felt about it. But as a traveler I also knew the importance of travel and exploration and how transformative it had been for me even when I didn't know it. It was that event that lead me to go back a 2nd year to photograph People of color at the event and share their stories- Black Burner Project. From there the project blew up.. highlighting the immense need and importance of visual representation, authenticity and relatability when connecting with new and underrepresented audiences. It pushed the boundaries of what inclusivity meant for this community. From there the idea to use my photography to make massive 30ft portraits in the dessert was birthed. I didnt know what I was doing. Not A Clue. But we birthed it and it was historic. From there I wanted to do something big, but instead what we created went deep vs high in the sky- a barbershop space. You really never know where an opportunity or (what you think is a) small idea might take you. It's been a journey and as I reflect on it I'm grasping on all I've learned. Some I won't recognize till the right time presents itself. Thank you to my friends for that gifted ticket. Thank you to me for doing it anyway- scared and all! I trusted myself more than I realized. And of course to the team that helped me climb 30ft and then some in the sky.
Burning Man Stories- Katalyst Love
This moment: standing in the middle of Avenue E taking photos of Efe (someone I’d met a few days prior) and we see a guy who catches our attention ride past us. A quick look at each other and we immediately started yelling after him. I dont no what we said to make him turn around because he was already a good distance away in a sea of other bikes. Just as we thought he didn’t hear us, he makes a quick stop and turn on his bike. He was totally down for being the subject of my photos. You’ll see more of him later (at my exhibit-stay tuned).. But part of his story and was his Djembe. There we were— 4 dynamic looking people of color in the middle of the of the road; one playing his Djembe, one in bright red and yellow African festival wear she made herself, and me in a one piece taking photos. Unknowingly eyes were on us, and the yells in appreciation of “US”from all types of people where echoing in the air... he left, I continued taking photos of Efe and that moment turned into a memory.
Night Brunch- Sir Dukes
The Monthly Brunch party hits up Sir. Dukes in Fells point and it doesn't disappoint. Many establishments in the city aren't used to a huge Wednesday night crowd, and Night Brunch helps them up the midweek anty. Hundreds of locals ready to eat, drink, and dance to let loose the beginning of the week blues and finish off the rest of the week with a new boost.
TopSide- The bmore Views Needed
I moved back to Baltimore at a good time. To see it evolve slowly into the city its meant to be has been nice. Although its still an undiscovered gem, lacking the creds it deserves, you'll find new (and swanky) establishments going up at a faster pace than ever these days. The investors, developers, business owners, and the people of baltimore see the potential baltimore has to be more than just the dive bars and crab shacks, hard times, and a few sports teams its been known for, for way too long. They want quality and a chance like any other city.
One thing that bothered me when I moved back was the lack in options for places that offered a fun, eclectic, cool space with like-minded and diverse groups of people to gather and after 14 years in New York that lack has been hard to adjust to. Its still hard to come by, but things are slowly changing. With a new wave of people looking to do things differently in the city its been refreshing to find the new places popping up around the city with open arms for exploring new possibilities with its city. One of this new joints being Topside, situated in the historically beautiful neighborhood of Mount Vernon, bringing back vivid memories of my old Peabody dance days. Now, this unique and colorful hotel offers the second and newest beautiful rooftop bars to the city with views that span downtown and beyond. It brings with it a cool bright airy feel, upbeat energy, and a spacious 3 sided bar. With board games and foosball table, a couch, TV and a funky garden room at the opposite end of the hall to accompany the views, Topside gives you options.
Although I'm used to the flavors of intricate cocktails, I’ve yet to find one on this menu to truly please my palate. That, however, doesn’t mean the all-male crew of mixologist aren’t talented. They are indeed! It just the menu (in my opinion) doesn’t do their cocktail making skills justice, flavor wise at least. It's still always fun to watch. Give them your favorite cocktail or liquor/taste of choice and they will craft up something special and tasty. Overall- without diving into the food menu just yet, Topside is a great staple addition to this up and coming Baltimore scene. And if you haven't checked it out yet, you should and the rooms are cool enough to treat yourself to a short staycation and shake up all the newness Baltimore has to offer. Let's keep it going Bmore!
Atlanta x Blavity x Amazing Women= Everything
My vision to attend the Blavity Summit21 conference seemed unattainable due to the cost. Early on I'd reached out to them about photographing the event. Weeks, maybe months past and the decision of just biting the bullet or taking the "L" and missing the conference was upon me. I reached out one more time, but to ask for a promotion code (yup, dont ask and you shall not recieve for sure was my thoughts), and don't you know they responded. Not with a promo code but to ask if id want to be a photographer.
The conference oozed good energy, knowledge and info, style, beauty, and inspiration. it was impressive space, design as i walked through before emptiness was overtaken by eager, bold and curious women in heels and fashion forward clothing.
The engrgy and informaton was so much more than i expected.
Topcis ranged from Money, beauty, impact lead by female movers and shakers who are makng strides in their industry right now. Some women I've recently discovered and others I'd never heard of but was eager to get more than an ear full when I could from everyone.
See, one thing I love about photography is that you get to be everywhere. You get to feel and see the emotions of everyone. You get to have fun, and enjoy the events. On the other hand- you're not enjoying them like everyone else gets to. i contemplate sometimes if I want to be on the other side, dependng on what im photographing, but i quickly realize the experience of beng behind the lens is like know other.
Women Laughed, Danced, Meditated, worked, networked, challenged themselves, learned new possibilties. This whole idea of entreprenuership is new to me. I've never considered myself one, nor did i have people around me who pushed my ideas and visions or spoke with that entreprenueral mindset. . So, being around this new energy and support is not only exciting, its super encouraging.
The line up of featured women was also impressve.
CoCo and breezy turns lunch time all the way up. A much needed and intentional element to the last day of the Conference. Yes, it was 1pm and 60 people were doing the electric slide during lunch and just straght jamin to the sounds of the skilled duo. My first time seeing and hearing these beautiful twins perform- it took nothing to become a fan instantly.
Tiffany the budgetnista (if you don't no about her yet, you really should, trust me), Danielle the online course guru, the Talented Daisha Graff, Zim founder of travel noire were just a few of the fierce women who graced the stages over the 2 days.
it was inspiring to tag along someone for 2 days who has just become a true woman beast in the entrepreuneral world. Not only did Morgan and her team put on an amazng conference, Morgan thought she'd just throw in the launch of her skin care line for brown women. i mean, seriously- the accomplishments! So exciting.
M.Roze - Essentials
For a trip/conference i wasn't sure i'd get to attend- This up close, behind the scenes experience was amazing. its a bit addicting actually- the feeling of inspiration, encouragement, and fierceness. The feeling that you know exactly what to do next and you have no doubt you can do it. That feeling gets losts a lot in the daily hustle and grind of your purpose and business. Staying motivated in this "untraditional" le one of the most presse skllsets along wh contnued determnaton and pursut they should be worth a lot more than gve on a resume and a conversatn wth people choosng a dferent path and may not get the struggle and power. A day remder to trust myself more, belve n myself, support others and Keep gong even when you dont know what to do
Robin Theade and Ashely Baine ended the main stage with most appropriet and genuine comedy and authenticity. Laughing and crying these two made a team I'm not sure they even realized completmnted so well. All i got to to them is more please.
#Summit21
The day I met Common
Well, when I say I met Common, it's more like, I stood next to him and photographed him for hours but froze when it came to speaking to him. - What is wrong with me-
I just started shooting after getting stumped on my words.
Here's how it went:
I'd accepted the fact I wouldn't get booked for the Common concert as a photographer after never getting a response when I inquired and expressed wanting the opportunity. I was bummed, but not for long. However, I was very open and clear (to myself and God) it was something I wanted. The weekend of, I found myself perusing the Target natural hair product aisle with a friend (some of you already know the deal), because of our sheer boredom and annoyance of another day of rain - We needed to get out of the house.
Then: A phone call from a number I didn’t recognize until I did. And that quick I was being booked to shoot the concert/show the very next day. How the heck did that happen so fast? A fundraiser for the current States Attorney looking to make a stamp in the community and get reelected in the upcoming elections.
I was excited and nervous to say the least.
The event started off like any other social event- photographing people conversing and enjoying themselves. Then Common arrived and so did the Mayhem. I was the only female working in my kind of role alongside 4 other guys with cameras in front of their face. l realized quickly the extra size balls I needed to grow from that point on. I wouldn’t say they grew much by the end of the night- but they grew some- a lesson for the next.
With the camera fixed in front of my eye, competing for a view of my main subjects, my thoughts were racing- stop feeling intimidated, trust my eye, trust my gift, take command and push my way in front, speak loud and tell people what I need from them and most importantly Land the shot (a lot of shots not needed).
I'm backstage with Common, standing so close to him our shoulders rub, he’s pepping himself up for his set, while we listen to MuMu Fresh killing it on the other side of the curtain.
I wanted to ask for a picture, but my brain was saying all kinds of ish- like, you don’t have a flash on phone front facing. it was super dark- like what the heck, it didn't?
I still don’t know...Smh
I say how are you?, he responds and 2 minutes later he’s on stage and I'm on there with him. Running up down and all around, I loved it for sure. to be on stage with all the artist capturing them at their best was good enough for me.
I still can’t get over the simple fact that I was there. Not because of the States Attorney and Common- but because my desire came true in a short time. Be clear about what you want, ask for it, however, be totally content and grateful if it doesn’t happen. Realize how quickly things can turn around when you least expect it, so don’t sulk in any regret or sadness or disappointment so you don’t miss something.
Note to self—— Everyday and Always
E
Lessons Learned
What a day, well two days, full of lessons.
1. After getting off the phone with a client who was a bit disappointed in the photos I delivered, I realized how important it was to take this and truly learn from it. I must take a step back each day to reflect on what I did and what potential lesson I was to get from the day. This client was extremely happy with the quality of my work, but I under delivered in part of the role I was responsible for capturing. I don't take this lightly. In fact, while working this gig, I was so nervous and stressed. It was a challenge and I couldn't figure it out. The clock was counting down and I took the advice of another photographer working, which I would learn to be the Wrong advice. What I am not used to, is the support of another woman in helping truly learn a lesson from my experience. What she did is explain to me what I should have done better, but also asked for my advice on how she can make the role more reasonable for what the expectation is. This was new to me. In that moment I realized the importance of a mentor- this was a true mentor moment.
Lessons: 1. There is always a solution to a problem. 2. Ask for help 3. It is your responsibility to get things done so do whatever you can to deliver. 4. Be vocal about the challenges and how to fix it. 4. Don't to the advice from a third party 5. Show up and Show out- over deliver always
2. The next day I ran my first race in over a year. It was just a 10k, but a girl hasn't ran more than 3 years on over a year, so that's a lot for me. What I didn't know, was the challenge ahead of me. The course was in Baltimore but it mind as well have been San Francisco. The hills, I mean mountains were never ending, more uphills than downs (it felt like). My friend and I started and one by one each person passed us. just a few minutes in, we looked back and realized we were in the back. From my experience, I was okay with this, as I could use this energy later in the race to get me through. But those hills got to me, and everyone else. Slowly and surely they started to take people out and I was passing through the pack. Surely and swiftly I climbed up the hills to the ones left was easy peasy. This race was a hard one. Even if I'd trained. What I shouldn't do is doubt myself. But what I learned was this...
Lessons: You may start off slow. You may be in the back of the pack. It may take you a while. But its all to build up the momentum for when the time really counts. All the hills and mountains you get up without walking and slowly glide yourself up front. it may take time, but each hurtle teaches you something. Just because you start off slow or in the back, doesn't mean you're meant to be there forever. Real Talk.
E
Photo Day- Baltimore Light City Festival
Hey good people,
I can't believe its mid to end of April already. I have not kept up with blogging although I have several posts written. Anyway, this past weekend we here in the Northeast were blessed with 2 magical summer days on Friday and Saturday- I mean we are talking 80-degrea weather. it was amazing and a tease. Lets just say I wont go into what happened on Sunday and the current situation.
I headed out early Saturday evening , it was still light out but it was later than I wanted to get out the house. I was able to convince a friend to get out the house as well, which worked out because she had a friend who owned a boat they were taking out that evening. I found myself in great new company on a sailboat, at night - in canton headed towards the inner harbor where all the festivities for the opening of light city were happening.
Light City is a yearly event in Baltimore which focuses on art installments which light up of course. We could see the movement of the mob of people, the neon lights in the sky, the buildings I’d never seen from that perspective all while the sounds of the marching bands drums echoed from the distance. We had such a beautiful view, but taking photos at night, on a moving sailboat is definitely not easy.
Sometimes I contemplate leaving my camera so that I'm able to just enjoy whatever I'm doing in a different way. Recently I've been going against that feeling and weight it out by using only my small light 35mm lens to keep the camera light and easy to keep on my shoulder. Of course, I love sharing my photos with hopes to inspire emotion, feelings and questions but I take photos for me too.
Peace out for now!
ES
IG Folks
When IG Folks Meet
Meet Derrick: Chef. Bmore bread. LA Bound
I often find myself in total control of how often I go on Instagram, but as of late Im hitting that button way too many times throughout the day.
What I will say, its allowed me to find people and reach out to those I would never have none about or had access to. Not everyone responds but that is okay ( I just hit them up again). I have booked work and pitched ideas. I sent thank you messages to people who inspire me through there work. I've also connected with people which has led to off-line relationships. Usually, we connect through a common skill of photography or they have the need for photography and I like the work they do.
With all that- I want to share the moments I have with these IG folks. bringing people together within a whole new realm of meaning, intention and curiosity.
My most recent off-line meet up was with Derrick (@derricksworld). How I stumbled on his page I haven’t a clue, but i was instantly intrigued by his photography skills and light. Even more so he was a chef so I’d often be drawling over the dish he featured while wondering what his light strategy and setup was for capturing the often moody, dark yet vibrant feels of the food he cooked.
I reached out and we planned to connect and did so within just a few days of introducing ourselves via IG DM.
Derrick was inspiring in his own unknown right. I walk into his small, yet well organized and decorated studio that made it feel a lot bigger and was impressed with how he put his place together. I automatically knew he had a creative yet detailed process and thought-provoking way of thinking. He had a lot in his place. it all felt right like it was suppose to be there but not everyone would know this. I also knew that I wouldn't have been able to conceptualize my space the way he had. I also quickly found out he created (built) pieces I told him I was fond of. Why was I focusing on all this? Simply put, he was a real creative who had ideas and just tried them. He had no fear in trying. And I knew I did. It inspired and motivated me while also put light on the dim-ness Id let take over me.
Regardless I was in a creative space, with a chef who made dessert from scratch and we would photograph it and eat it. I was cool with all and any emotions thoughts and images that came out of this moment.
I'll also say about Derrick: born and raised in Baltimore, he doesn’t fit the stereotypical ideals of a black male from Baltimore, I would assume he skateboards but I saw no evidence of that, he’s a great photographer. He’s never traveled but will be moving to LA mid Mach making this is first time traveling as far and first move from Bmore. Stories like that make me swoon because the potential of newness that opens up to you when you decide to do something different is just incredible. The trajectory of his life and how he was living will be completely different once moves. if he continued to live in MD he would have a totally different outcome to each day he lives and that makes life so cool.
I'm sure this new adventure will bring challenges worth the reward. .
Fun Facts
Instagram: @derricksworld
Website: https://www.derricksworldd.co
Favorite food to eat: Asia, mexican
How did you start cooking: started off at a chain restaurant rolling silverware. eventually asked to work in the kitchen. Went to culinary school in bmore after realizing he liked it and there she wrote.
Whats your next personal goal? Personal/private chef company
Here I go- Again. Hello 2018!
I say all this to reintroduce myself and my new website at the start of this new year, 2018.
Hey folks! So, its true, I've done this before. Created a website. Started a blog. I've done it a few times actually. I was never satisfied with how my site looked, or what I was talking about on my blog, and lacked confidence in my writing. So, I never kept it up. Worst of all I found myself comparing myself and writing to others which made me feel even worst about my work. One thing that became very clear from was how much I would overthink everything. I would ponder over what purpose my blog or how my writing didn't sound "smart". On top of that, I hated the blog names I would come up with. I would see a catchy name on other sites and try my hardest to come up with something just as cute and catchy. That didn't happen. Little stuff right, but it frustrated me a great deal. I became stuck and unsure of everything. Can you believe it? Overthinking the title to the point that I just didn't write anything. Who, does that.
I know my writing isn't the best. Basic vocabulary is my preferred style. I never could muster keeping a vast and diverse descriptive vocabulary; but what does that mean anyway. Although seceretly, I wish, I knew/used more big words than I do- call me silly. What I know and recognized last year were my many insecurities and how they affected me personally and my work. My biggest lessons have been: to care less and do more. Think less and do more. Love the things I love, fully. Treat myself with love. To use my resilience, my will, my creativity all the time. To be okay with myself in my now, but to always strive for a better me later (even in the next hour), forgive myself more and to be okay with what makes me different, to name a few. I look forward to working on the parts of me I want to be better in. Most importantly my goal is to compare myself less to others unless it is in inspiration with the intent to push myself to new levels.
I say all this to reintroduce myself and my new website (which I've spent a few weeks on now- happy about this) at the start of this new year, 2018. I love my site. And, the best part- I don't have to come up with a name for my blog. Its just called jounal- yup, thats it (haha). I'm not sure how often Ill write, but I'm excited to share my thoughts and experiences through my writings and photographs more often.
** The photo: I choose this photo I took in VA beach, because I'm completely intrigued and inspired by the ocean and surfers and their relationship with each other. Also, "Here we go, Again", is exaclty what I would be saying if surfing and a wave was rising towards me after falling off 10 times already. ***
thanks for stopping by today and staying with me till now.
Until the next...
Esha